I couldn’t come up with words. The past month both rattled my foundations and uplifted my spirit. 

With the economy slowing down and no longer having a car (my car was totaled by drunk driver in March) I couldn’t drive for Grubhub without borrowing cars. That’s not sustainable, so I decided to spend some time thinking about what I can do to help small businesses and startups moving into the digital space. I overhauled www.MicaelaBrown.com and started helping companies take their products online, taught how to drive online traffic to their websites, set up social media shopping, and coached analytics for data-driven marketing. People with ideas reached out and I helped them figure out how to get their ideas into something they could launch NOW instead of waiting, and bring in revenue. I think that the biggest surprise those I’m coaching experience is that digital advertising and marketing is robust and there’s an entire ecosystem that already exists to support eCommerce. Business owners just have to convert to digital to allow customers to start purchasing and supporting them. 

I started feeling empowered by helping those who are not yet digital savvy, and empowering them to begin bringing in revenue again. 

And then life happened. 

Again. 

My uncle died of COVID, an unspoken family miscarriage, and my beloved 14yr old chihuahua Mr. Paws Barkley (pictured in all of my photos) died. 

So. Much. Sadness. 

And then something beautiful happened. We’re still isolating, but technology is allowing friends and family from near and far to see each other, love and laugh together, is simply be together. 

There’s joy in sadness, strength in tears.

For the first time in years I’m finding balance. I am carving out time to have virtual happy hours with friends around the world: Monday evenings are family zoom time, Sundays are Netflix parties with friends on lockdown in NYC. 

I started therapy just about 6 weeks ago right after the car accident. In the beginning I was having anxiety attacks and panic attacks every other day, but even those have stopped! 

Making time for mental, physical, and emotional health is a bit of a breakthrough for me. It shouldn’t have taken so many crises to get me to this point, but I’m here now!

Last week is when grants started coming through. Can I tell you that I’M SO THANKFUL that we didn’t qualify for PPP?! PPP requires small businesses to spend it in a limited amount of time, and only on approved line items or the loans won’t be forgiven. Unfortunately, small businesses need the money for overhead costs and inventory, which are not approved line items. Some grants have restrictions on what they can be used for, but most allow us to choose what to spend it on. That flexibility is allowing me to keep Blush & Whimsy open and sharing our message of inclusivity, hope, and empowerment.

I’m so incredibly grateful and thankful and prayerful that Blush & Whimsy is strong. I’ve reduced every single bill, deleted the majority of my shopify apps, and now grants are starting to come through that will allow me to bring back contractors, push harder to get inventory in, with some left over to keep Blush & Whimsy on people’s minds when we have everything back in stock. The virus wiped out so much, but it won’t kill this company, and it won’t stop me. 

I still don’t have the right words. 

I know it is a lot for everyone. 

I’d like to reiterate that if you need someone, I’m here. You can reach me via any of our social media channels or email. You aren’t alone. 

I believe in us. I believe that we’ll get through the sadness and uncertainty. I believe in entrepreneurs moving mountains to keep their business babies alive. I believe in the singles who are isolating alone and working from home or furloughed/lost their jobs and missing hugs and human touch. I believe in parents trying to balance work and homeschool, families who have lost their jobs and are doing whatever it takes to put food on the table. I see you.